My Path

 How you and others would describe you: I'm a bit lazy I don't like asking for help I'm very intelligent but not vIery smart I have difficulty saying no I love sparkles but rarely wear them Blue is my favorite color but only the dark shades I'm a very literal person and that gets me into trouble I give off this naive aura that makes people want to coddle me, which can be smothering at times I have a vindictive and mean streak I don't take betrayal well but I'm a glutton for punishment  Pessimistic Flighty Stubbornly set in my ways slobby selfabsorbed selfish cold oblivious easy to talk to ----------------------- Tarot Cards that pull a cord with me:                           Tarot Cards the Leave me cold: 9 swords                                                          ...

 Like a fragile oyster The black velvet box Opens in The Girls hands. the tables clinking The plates scratching around them.   Shards fall from The Girls eyes her gaze wafts up, catching in its gossemer nets,  The Bear's hollow stare.   IT snaps shut The Girl's breath burns, Spiders crawl across her skin The Bear claws  Through her hair.   The Girl ties her arms Around The Bear, Clasping her hands The black velvet box coming between them.   The Girl leans Head on The Bears Chest Drums lulling them into a syrupy doze. -------------------------- In the Air conditioned nightmare Of a funeral home, The Woman's hair is tied in a tight bun and covered in netting.   She wears her pine overcoat well. Too red lipstick on her lips Too red rouge on her cheeks The Woman's ash-like hair is frayed bleached at the roots   The Mourners eyes squint face scrunches Eyes roving The Woman's hollow shell: The Splotches on her face, her cross strung across her ches...

 Like a fragile oyster The black velvet box Opens in The Girls hands. the tables clinking The plates scratching around them.   Shards fall from The Girls eyes her gaze wafts up, catching in its gossemer nets,  The Bear's hollow stare.   IT snaps shut The Girl's breath burns, Spiders crawl across her skin The Bear claws  Through her hair.   The Girl ties her arms Around The Bear, Clasping her hands The black velvet box coming between them.   The Girl leans Head on The Bears Chest Drums lulling them into a syrupy doze. -------------------------- In the Air conditioned nightmare Of a funeral home, The Woman's hair is tied in a tight bun and covered in netting.   She wears her pine overcoat well. Too red lipstick on her lips Too red rouge on her cheeks The Woman's ash-like hair is frayed bleached at the roots   The Mourners eyes squint face scrunches Eyes roving The Woman's hollow shell: The Splotches on her face, her cross strung across her ches...

 Like a fragile oyster The black velvet box Opens in The Girls hands. the tables clinking The plates scratching around them.   Shards fall from The Girls eyes her gaze wafts up, catching in its gossemer nets,  The Bear's hollow stare.   IT snaps shut The Girl's breath burns, Spiders crawl across her skin The Bear claws  Through her hair.   The Girl ties her arms Around The Bear, Clasping her hands The black velvet box coming between them.   The Girl leans Head on The Bears Chest Drums lulling them into a syrupy doze. -------------------------- In the Air conditioned nightmare Of a funeral home, The Woman's hair is tied in a tight bun and covered in netting.   She wears her pine overcoat well. Too red lipstick on her lips Too red rouge on her cheeks The Woman's ash-like hair is frayed bleached at the roots   The Mourners eyes squint face scrunches Eyes roving The Woman's hollow shell: The Splotches on her face, her cross strung across her ches...

 Little blue eyes look up, mummy and daddy. Pink perfect skin. Little Fragile How do I hold her? Golden curls wrap around her little head. Curly cues. Fairy laughter and tinkle belles. Mother's eyes, Father's chin. Mushy peas or strained carrots? Formula or breast feeding? Dirty diapers and clean powder. Bathtime with mommy in the Sink. Splashing giggles.  Massage her little scalp, Gently Comb her hair of tangles. Late nights with midnight feedings. Teddy bears and Cribs.

 The silver mitten licks the shaken sniffleing dinner. A shaken zebra burns the book BOOM! Shower the dinner shaken with Glimmer. Glitter. Shimmers. Noel  Joelle look a star! The zebra learn to look and don a flower. Sore bare, building KABOOM! Aware of an adored ripple.  

 Thinking it through I believe that I live mostly in the north. I am very flighty ungrounded person. I don't live in the phisical realm at all if I can help it and spiritual topics are more comfortable for me than talking about even what I'm having for lunch. I have a sense that all life is precious and should be protected. Life is precious in general, whatever its phisical form. I have had experiences that have made me quite aware of the spirutal side of life and have built connections with that side of my life more easily than even the closest of my friends. Moments of inspiration are fleeting and far between but thats is what makes them more precious. Making my runes or picking up a tarot deck iare moments of inspiration. Doodling the lake at prosser is another act of inspiration. I feel good when I follow them and dissappointed when I do not. The air around an emotionally charged person fills up with charged energy that is hard to ignore. That is one of the reasons I avoid ...

  Reflection: "You manifest the Jewel of your existance with every breath, with every day that you are alive."   South: How you manifest in the world phisically I don't manifest myself phisically or at least thats the best way I can describe  the way I do. In a crowd of people I am constantly trying not to bring attention to where I am and I truly am made hyper aware of every sound I make when in a new enviorment. i don't cry when I get hurt and my pain tolerance is very high. My voice is hard for people to catch, even when I'm trying to be heard and I am likely to be completely ignored when someone first enters the room. The turn around and eventually see me but always are surprised.  I've been thinking about this over the last week and its hard to put into words how I feel about it. I don't like being a phisical person and would love just to blend in with the crowd. On the other hand I think that fear of something, I can't quite define it yet, keeps ...

 Dear Mother, Bear Mother In the fields I found you in the wind Gently Firmly Blowing me down my path  Hidden in the green Your claws protect and churn the Earth My Soul Finding roots, broken To recreate them in your fertile womb

 Dear Mother, Bear Mother In the fields I found you in the wind Gently Firmly Blowing me down my path  Hidden in the green Your claws protect and churn the Earth My Soul Finding roots, broken To recreate them in your fertile womb

 Hey! Me and my sister, Arshell, went up to Valley Fair Mall to go bra shopping at Layne Bryant for thier annual sale. Buy 2 get 2 Free. All you women who have larger than average breasts size know how much of an excursion bra shopping can be and sympatize with my reluctance but need to get new bras. I was down to one and that one broke this morning. I need a new bra, and this was the day that was fated for us to go. Its 95 here and the mall has AC, which was just a bonus, right? I've lost weight recently so I was under the 'delusion', I didn't know it was a delusion at the time, that my bra size had decreased from a DD to a single D. Which would have made shopping for Bras a bit less strenuous, really but it wasn't to be. Instead of decreasing, like my waistline, the girls have doubled in size. Now, this could be only that I hadn't been fitted to the correct size but thats not the point of this post. I'm angsting about my bra size so get with the program an...

 Hey! Me and my sister, Arshell, went up to Valley Fair Mall to go bra shopping at Layne Bryant for thier annual sale. Buy 2 get 2 Free. All you women who have larger than average breasts size know how much of an excursion bra shopping can be and sympatize with my reluctance but need to get new bras. I was down to one and that one broke this morning. I need a new bra, and this was the day that was fated for us to go. Its 95 here and the mall has AC, which was just a bonus, right? I've lost weight recently so I was under the 'delusion', I didn't know it was a delusion at the time, that my bra size had decreased from a DD to a single D. Which would have made shopping for Bras a bit less strenuous, really but it wasn't to be. Instead of decreasing, like my waistline, the girls have doubled in size. Now, this could be only that I hadn't been fitted to the correct size but thats not the point of this post. I'm angsting about my bra size so get with the program an...

 I haven't written in awhile so I just thought I would put down what has been happening lately to get you all caught up. I went to my first Pantheacon this year, about 2 months back now. I had a real blast but I also learned that I cannot sing all weekend without losing my voice near the end. Other than that I had a great time being among so many pagans for the first time. It was a little overwhelming and I lost five lbs just because I was so nervous, and the fact that my main meal consisted of coffee and thats it. I love to sing and it was a great weekend to learn about the singing traditions of many different people and enjoy thier company. Singing and song are very big things to me spiritually and what drew me to my current path. Both Groves I associate with incorporate singing heavily into the ritual and I love that. The only reason I stayed at the christian church I was as for so long is that it was the only place I could be so close to the devine.  Singing is what keeps ...

 I haven't written in awhile so I just thought I would put down what has been happening lately to get you all caught up. I went to my first Pantheacon this year, about 2 months back now. I had a real blast but I also learned that I cannot sing all weekend without losing my voice near the end. Other than that I had a great time being among so many pagans for the first time. It was a little overwhelming and I lost five lbs just because I was so nervous, and the fact that my main meal consisted of coffee and thats it. I love to sing and it was a great weekend to learn about the singing traditions of many different people and enjoy thier company. Singing and song are very big things to me spiritually and what drew me to my current path. Both Groves I associate with incorporate singing heavily into the ritual and I love that. The only reason I stayed at the christian church I was as for so long is that it was the only place I could be so close to the devine.  Singing is what keeps ...

So, its a new year and I've decided, in a fit of inspiration, that it would be good to kind of organize how I post here on blogger or at least find a way to be a little less sporadic in my posting, both topically and time wise. After this decision came the big question of how exactly I would do this thing that is truly against my nature. Then it occured to me. Oracle Cards or specifically TheWisdom of the Hidden Realms Oracle Cards by Collete Baron-Reid. This may  seem a bit of a non-sequitur to some of you but I hope you'll get the connection once I explain. I bought these cards on a whim, like I do alot of my purchases, not really knowing of a purpose for them at the time. Its really a shame, they really are beautiful cards, much better than the Rune Cards I picked up later on but we'll get to those later. I had never really had an affinity for oracle cards but this deck was pretty so I bought it. This week I decided, as a solution the lack of focus of my po...