My Path

 How you and others would describe you: I'm a bit lazy I don't like asking for help I'm very intelligent but not vIery smart I have difficulty saying no I love sparkles but rarely wear them Blue is my favorite color but only the dark shades I'm a very literal person and that gets me into trouble I give off this naive aura that makes people want to coddle me, which can be smothering at times I have a vindictive and mean streak I don't take betrayal well but I'm a glutton for punishment  Pessimistic Flighty Stubbornly set in my ways slobby selfabsorbed selfish cold oblivious easy to talk to ----------------------- Tarot Cards that pull a cord with me:                           Tarot Cards the Leave me cold: 9 swords                                                          ...

 Like a fragile oyster The black velvet box Opens in The Girls hands. the tables clinking The plates scratching around them.   Shards fall from The Girls eyes her gaze wafts up, catching in its gossemer nets,  The Bear's hollow stare.   IT snaps shut The Girl's breath burns, Spiders crawl across her skin The Bear claws  Through her hair.   The Girl ties her arms Around The Bear, Clasping her hands The black velvet box coming between them.   The Girl leans Head on The Bears Chest Drums lulling them into a syrupy doze. -------------------------- In the Air conditioned nightmare Of a funeral home, The Woman's hair is tied in a tight bun and covered in netting.   She wears her pine overcoat well. Too red lipstick on her lips Too red rouge on her cheeks The Woman's ash-like hair is frayed bleached at the roots   The Mourners eyes squint face scrunches Eyes roving The Woman's hollow shell: The Splotches on her face, her cross strung across her ches...

 Like a fragile oyster The black velvet box Opens in The Girls hands. the tables clinking The plates scratching around them.   Shards fall from The Girls eyes her gaze wafts up, catching in its gossemer nets,  The Bear's hollow stare.   IT snaps shut The Girl's breath burns, Spiders crawl across her skin The Bear claws  Through her hair.   The Girl ties her arms Around The Bear, Clasping her hands The black velvet box coming between them.   The Girl leans Head on The Bears Chest Drums lulling them into a syrupy doze. -------------------------- In the Air conditioned nightmare Of a funeral home, The Woman's hair is tied in a tight bun and covered in netting.   She wears her pine overcoat well. Too red lipstick on her lips Too red rouge on her cheeks The Woman's ash-like hair is frayed bleached at the roots   The Mourners eyes squint face scrunches Eyes roving The Woman's hollow shell: The Splotches on her face, her cross strung across her ches...

 Like a fragile oyster The black velvet box Opens in The Girls hands. the tables clinking The plates scratching around them.   Shards fall from The Girls eyes her gaze wafts up, catching in its gossemer nets,  The Bear's hollow stare.   IT snaps shut The Girl's breath burns, Spiders crawl across her skin The Bear claws  Through her hair.   The Girl ties her arms Around The Bear, Clasping her hands The black velvet box coming between them.   The Girl leans Head on The Bears Chest Drums lulling them into a syrupy doze. -------------------------- In the Air conditioned nightmare Of a funeral home, The Woman's hair is tied in a tight bun and covered in netting.   She wears her pine overcoat well. Too red lipstick on her lips Too red rouge on her cheeks The Woman's ash-like hair is frayed bleached at the roots   The Mourners eyes squint face scrunches Eyes roving The Woman's hollow shell: The Splotches on her face, her cross strung across her ches...

 Little blue eyes look up, mummy and daddy. Pink perfect skin. Little Fragile How do I hold her? Golden curls wrap around her little head. Curly cues. Fairy laughter and tinkle belles. Mother's eyes, Father's chin. Mushy peas or strained carrots? Formula or breast feeding? Dirty diapers and clean powder. Bathtime with mommy in the Sink. Splashing giggles.  Massage her little scalp, Gently Comb her hair of tangles. Late nights with midnight feedings. Teddy bears and Cribs.

 The silver mitten licks the shaken sniffleing dinner. A shaken zebra burns the book BOOM! Shower the dinner shaken with Glimmer. Glitter. Shimmers. Noel  Joelle look a star! The zebra learn to look and don a flower. Sore bare, building KABOOM! Aware of an adored ripple.  

 Thinking it through I believe that I live mostly in the north. I am very flighty ungrounded person. I don't live in the phisical realm at all if I can help it and spiritual topics are more comfortable for me than talking about even what I'm having for lunch. I have a sense that all life is precious and should be protected. Life is precious in general, whatever its phisical form. I have had experiences that have made me quite aware of the spirutal side of life and have built connections with that side of my life more easily than even the closest of my friends. Moments of inspiration are fleeting and far between but thats is what makes them more precious. Making my runes or picking up a tarot deck iare moments of inspiration. Doodling the lake at prosser is another act of inspiration. I feel good when I follow them and dissappointed when I do not. The air around an emotionally charged person fills up with charged energy that is hard to ignore. That is one of the reasons I avoid ...

  Reflection: "You manifest the Jewel of your existance with every breath, with every day that you are alive."   South: How you manifest in the world phisically I don't manifest myself phisically or at least thats the best way I can describe  the way I do. In a crowd of people I am constantly trying not to bring attention to where I am and I truly am made hyper aware of every sound I make when in a new enviorment. i don't cry when I get hurt and my pain tolerance is very high. My voice is hard for people to catch, even when I'm trying to be heard and I am likely to be completely ignored when someone first enters the room. The turn around and eventually see me but always are surprised.  I've been thinking about this over the last week and its hard to put into words how I feel about it. I don't like being a phisical person and would love just to blend in with the crowd. On the other hand I think that fear of something, I can't quite define it yet, keeps ...