Personal Religion and an Introduction

DP Through the Wheel of the Year

Week One

     I said I would post this on Thursday but if you know me well enough you were probably expecting this either today or tomorrow. I just have a horrible habit of procrastinating till the last minute so only a day late is a triumph for me, be grateful for little miracles.

I have written about 4 entries, very short ones but they were written on the dates inscribed. I did not write everyday but I did try for at least 7  entries total only missing 3 of the 7. I'll try to be more consistent this week.

     The first entry was actually written on the ninth but I wrote down the date on the eighth, go figure, and procrastinated till the next evening.

     I did all the 'required' reading and answered the following questions over the last week, but I won't be done with them. I probably will add to them or just write comments pertaining to them as I go along.

The questions are as follows:

-Why have you chosen to take the first steps on the Dedicant Path?

-Is this a step on your path, or will this become the Path itself?

-What do you expect to learn?

-What would tou like to get out of this journey?

-What do you expect to learn?

-Do you know where this path will take you?

-If you have just joined ADF, why have you chosen to work on this immedietly?

-Does it look hard or easy?

-What requirements appear to be difficult to you now, and which appear to be easy?

-Do you have doubts, questions or concerns that you need to ask about?

      I have tried to answer these in an honest way and would appreciate any helpful comments.

April 8th, 2010

     I did a two power meditation for about ten minutes, but found it was hard to truly relax in such a short time. Maybe it will become easier as time goes on and I meditate on a regular basis but only time will tell. 

     I have started the wheel of the year handbook as well and the questions are personal and difficult to answer.

     I have chosen this path because I want or need help finding my own path in druidry. I' very much a beginner and have always been drawn to druidry but really don't have a set reason why at this point.  I hope to discover this reason and forge a bath beyond the set guidelines and truly unveil my own.

Setting and holding boundaries has always been a difficulty for me, I an a procrastinator to such a strong degree it often gets in the way of many opportunities.

     My daily devotions are becoming sporadic, mostly I believe  because I am following them directly from a book and someones formula, its a little contrived and the words sound hollow to me. Which makes it hard to continue offering such hollow devotion. I hope that following this study guide through the year will help me come to a better understanding of what I need in a devotion that will meet what my particular circumstances call for.

     I tend to skip around, pardon my randomness.

     My mediation was good in that I did eventually relax and felt both powers moving through me in the end, even if it was a little fleeting.

I have real problems finishing what I start, so this study will be a trial for me in many ways. Wish me luck!

----Ashtore

April 11, 2010

     I was thinking alot about why I have joined ADF and what was my reasons for being a lukewarm Christian for so many years.

Fear was a main component for the later.

I as afraind of what my family would say or do if I decided Christianity wasn't for me. I still am afraid and that is the main reason that I have not made it common knowledge.

I was and am still afraid of going to hell if I did not believe.

These kind of fears are common in the church community and are drilled into a persons head from a young age until the fear is behind every decision you make.

In contradiction the clergy declares that you must obey God out of love for him but this love is based on a deep level of fear as well. 

I am supposed to love/fear a nonphisical being that I will pray to and for things but only recieve them by his will.

You really have no control and the real point of having a close relationship is a little confusing to me.

In Druidry, I can understand the *ghosti relationship that you create with your patron Gods and Goddesses. Its more direct and understandable. 

-----Ashtore

April 12, 2010

 I was always drawn to the idea of druidry, it was just after my sister became a wiccan that I ben to examine seriously why I remained in the church.

I was really going through the motions, going to church and so on, because my parents went and the reat of  my family believed and I also went to Christian school.

It was just easier to go with teh flow rather than burn my  own trail or find my own path. It will be hard to break away from these patterns but it will be worth the strength of will that I hope to gain at teh end of this year.

The essay writing that the DP requires will probably be the easiest part of the path to follow, I am after all and English Major, but the consistent writing will be the hardest part.

Planning and boundaries are some of my biggest weaknesses, and will be what I will be working on throughout the year.

-----Ashtore

April 15, 2010

     Since I've started the DP I haven't done a daily devotion. I still haven't found a way to do it that I am comfortable with. I still haven't found my patrons yet either. I know I want to honor the Earth Mother, represented by the Celtic Goddess Boyin and maybe The Daghda as one of my patrons but I am still a little unclear.

My hearth Culture obviously will be Celtic/Irish mostly because its has always fascinated me and I am Irish on both my mothers and my fathers side of the family. 

I also have much Native american in me from both sides as well, and have always been drawn to that as well, so I might mix that in as is comfortable, just to honor both sides of my heritage. 

Oh, I jsut remembered, the Tree I have on my altar needs watering, its a bonsai that I hope will grow into a fine symbol of the trees that are so much a part of my Celtic roots.

-----Ashtore