My Path

I had trouble with my internet connection yesterday so I wasn’t able to post anything. It was frustrating. I did my usual meditation but during the last minutes I went through my chakras, from may root to my head, spinning the pinwheels and movie the stagnant energy there. I really felt the difference afterward but even throughout the meditation I felt the every move through me and I could feel where it was blocked. I felt a major blockage in my throat chakra, which I can understand. I deal with a lot of issues concerning the truth and speaking it. I can twist words like the best lawyer and I honed that talent through a tough childhood. It wasn’t as physically rough as some but it really skewed my ability to see and process what was going on around me, I had to discount what I was seeing, in order to survive. It's a blockage that hasn’t been cleared but I am working on it. I also felt  smaller blockage in my sacral and solar plexus, my sexual expression and self power chakra...

I was again a little rushed but I decided that ten minutes was better than none so I went ahead. I had to rearrange my altar this morning because I was in a hurry and messed it up by removing the altar cloth, knocking everything off in the process and now I have ashes on the floor that ned to be picked up.  Now the altar looks a little better, I needed to dust anyway. I have a few pictures of trees representing the world tree on the left I to those at an art fair last year. I painted a candle with the awen symbol in the flame, representing the flame of inspiration. I have feathers representing the air and crow feathers from my old home representing the past.  My patron sits closest to the fire with the wise owl s company. Both are symbols of wisdom and endings.

i continued with my chakra meditation today. i used the same imagery as before, imagining my sacral chakra as a spinning pinwheel that i could spin with my breathing. i added the thought that in spinning it i was also cleaning all the dust or old evergy from it, an image of a spinning wheel of fire came to me then, burning away the bad or old built up blockages that have built up over the years. i have many blockages in this area, probably more that in my root.  relating with th asexual has alway been a little bit of a minefield for me, open discussion of this subject was discorage heavily.  both of my parents had their own reasons for blocking this path to knowledge in their own lives but as a consequence it is difficult to find my own way. Your parents are your first teachers, and when they hide knowledge or discourage learning about a part of your own body, you learn to distrust any future teachers.  including yourself. learning to trust your intuition or even yo...

i was completely and utterly distracted today. the first ten minutes went fine but as soon as i got got into the last part a fly came in and started buzzing around the room. my cat started chasing fly, crash into various objects long the way. finally he crashed into my lap and my meditation was over. my leg was asleep as well so it was just as well. hopefully, tomorrow will be better. it was a good meditation really, until the fly came in buzzing  I made valiant effort at the chakra pinwheel meditation but the cat chasing the fly kinda threw me off. I have to accept that some days are going to work out like that, some things are beyond my control. my cat being one of those things. it would have been nice to be able to continue despite the distractions but claws tend to get my attention, especially on my bare skin. its the smallest things that cause us the most trouble or help us overcome. “Sometimes it is the smallest thing that saves us: the weather grow...

First day of the fourth week, i’ve been writing these little blurbs for month now. Or will be at the end of this week. i mixed up my meditation a bit today, i turned my phones timer on nd then had a chakra tuner running in the background for my root chakra. i think this week I am pin to go through my chakras,one for every day this week. i first went through my relaxation script and them spent the rest of the time tuning my root chakra. i imagined it was like a pinwheel and my out breathes were spinning it around. it was a good meditation, i went really deep and i felt a real difference in how grounded i was after my meditation and how i felt while i was meditating. The chakra are important power centers that reside along our spines but most of the literature I’ve read on them is very abstract and hard of me to grasp. pinwheels are a item i see every day and i’m very familiar with how they work. imagining my out breaths blowing my chakra pinwheel around was very easy and super eff...

Last day of the third week?  Another milestone. I fell asleep again today, waking up again to do my meditation, I can’t blame myself too much because I did on;y et to sleep around one in the morning last night. It was a little better today, I switched the relaxation technique making it the first rather than the last. I went deeper than I expected. Then my foot went numb during the last few minutes and I had to move it. Not bad. It was definitely better than yesterday. I was still frustrated that I had to move but I think I can shane that with a simple change in positioning. I’ll have to experiment wit a few different postures, see which fit s best. My cat came to sit with me, he sat in my lap and it actually helped my posture bit. Its funny, sometimes haven my cat is a distraction during meditation but sometimes its almost a boon to have him around.  It really depends on his mood or if I fed him that morning or not.  I as looking for my invocations but could only fi...